consuming signs

Summer's Woes Solved By Genius at Bar

2008-09-10T00:11:00.005-04:00

Sounds like a better story than it is, I suppose. I promised a friend I'd tell my long sordid tale of computer woe (as if everyone doesn't have one of their own), and here it is:

I’ve been in my share of Apple stores, although lately I’ve been avoiding them, hoping to keep my iPhone lust under control. The last time I walked by one, I saw the staff in color-coded t shirts and the big (but not ostentatious) Genius Bar sign in the back. Filed the info away for future reference and kept walking down the street.

But then, summer came and I was a single working parent away for the summer and without my in-house tech support (translation: spouse with a PhD in computer science should be able to fix anything). In a moment of weakness, I let the children use the iBook as a dvd player on a car ride to the beach, and cringed as it went slamming onto the floor sideways as we turned off the highway. Yeah, the pin inside the power slot was bent and the power head was mangled to boot. And with an old battery in there, I probably had all of about ten minutes worth of power with which I could retrieve my work files (important stuff, you know, like that week's class lectures and the proofread article that was due to the publisher the next day).

So I drop the girls off at the beach with their aunt, drive to work (from RI to Massachusetts. Ah, New England, how I miss your small and sturdy boundaries!), and stop at a mall with an Apple store on the way.

The mall is pretty quiet on a summer afternoon, but the Apple store is not. The nice person in the orange shirt ("conceirge," it says on his nametag) directs me to another nice person in an orange shirt who starts to take my name for an appointment – I can’t get near the guys in the bright blue shirts behind the Genius Bar without an appointment and the soonest one is in the evening of the next day. Geez! I make the appointment, but after teaching, I cross state lines on my way back to the beach and decide to call and see if I can get an appointment at another Apple store sooner. Indeed, they can see me right away and as soon as I pass the phalanx of orange shirts and make my way up confidently to the blue shirts, thrilled to be waited on by geniuses, I see why. These geniuses are not as genius as the ones I will eventually go back to see at the FIRST Apple store where I had the original appointment. This is a newer mall and a newer store and mine is, surprisingly, a slightly older Mac, and so they do not have the parts in stock or even a working battery so I can retrieve my Very Important But Not Backed Up Documents off my computer. While this Genius Bar worker was honest, he was less of a Genius than I needed. Can guys like that solve the problems of the life of a working, single mother? I think not. (okay, well, maybe if he had figured out a quick way to fix my computer!)

I’m only in this state at the beach for another day or so and can’t wait for the 2nd State Apple Store to fix it (especially when they tell me that have to send out for "parts." There's only one part that needs to be replaced and no one in a two hour radius had it??) Honestly, I am reluctant to leave my computer with them – so I keep it and the next day, crossing state lines again for work, I head to the original appointment, where they DO have a battery, so I can retrieve my stupidly not saved work, and they can fix it in the next day or so because in THIS state, the Apple stores can call each other and have parts sent over from one to the other so it doesn’t take a week of waiting. Whew. I relinquish the baby, I mean computer, for two days, head to work with most of my livelihood on a USB stick, and look forward to standing back at the genius bar another day.

If that were the end of the story, you’d say everyone can have one good retail experience, right? Well, like all good stories, this one has a moral: never yell at your kids today for something you might just as easily do wrong tomorrow. Back in Pennsylvania after a long summer, I walk into the home office in the dark, trip over a power cord that is inexplicably draped across the room, and guess which Mac goes flying and lands on its side again. Amazingly, the power port and plugs were fine, but of course, the screen and one of the hinges took some collateral damage. Sigh. Well, the end result is that the Pittsburgh Geniuses are as reassuring, helpful, smart, and capable as the ones in Boston and that yes, it is possible to walk in and out of an Apple store four times without buying an iPhone, especially if your entire focus is on the desperate need for technical and mechanical help.

The same week my brother called with a story about the complete lack of helpfulness of Geek Squad members at a Best Buy in California. He went with a one-man computer repair service instead and is very satisfied. And now, Gates is getting into the act: Microsoft announced that it’s going to introduce Gurus into major retail stores to help consumers with their PC problems.

I don't see myself making use of the Gurus any time soon, even if the computer scientist will soon have an office in brand new Gates funded building. I'm happy to let Gates spread his money around as long as his immense wealth and power do not mean that I have to give up my love affair with Apple.

The Omnivore's 100

2008-08-21T09:49:00.003-04:00

This began at Andrew's Very Good Taste Blog

Here are the rules:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The 100

1. Venison

2. Nettle tea

3. Huevos rancheros

4. Steak tartare

5. Crocodile [maybe it was alligator?]

6. Black pudding

7. Cheese fondue

8. Carp

9. Borscht

10. Baba ghanoush

11. Calamari

12. Pho

13. PB&J sandwich

14. Aloo gobi

15. Hot dog from a street cart

16. Epoisses

17. Black truffle (although I don't remember it)

18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes [peach, homemade by a chef friend]

19. Steamed pork buns

20. Pistachio ice cream

21. Heirloom tomatoes

22. Fresh wild berries (a staple!)

23. Foie gras

24. Rice and beans

25. Brawn or head cheese (yeah, as a kid, forced to)

26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (raw? definitely cooked but not raw)

27. Dulce de leche

28. Oysters

29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda

31. Wasabi peas

32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (in 1976, yeah)

33. Salted lassi

34. Sauerkraut

35. Root beer float

36. Cognac with a fat cigar

37. Clotted Cream Tea

38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O (college party)

39. Gumbo

40. Oxtail

41. Curried goat

42. Whole insects (cricket)

43. Phaal

44. Goat's milk

45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more

46. Fugu

47. Chicken tikka masala

48. Eel

49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut

50. Sea urchin

51. Prickly pear

52. Umeboshi

53. Abalone

54. Paneer

55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal (1975? did they exist then?)

56. Spaetzle

57. Dirty gin martini

58. Beer above 8% ABV

59. Poutine

60. Carob chips

61. S’mores

62. Sweetbreads

63. Kaolin

64. Currywurst

65. Durian

66. Frogs’ legs

67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake

68. Haggis

69. Fried plantain

70. Chitterlings or andouillette

71. Gazpacho

72. Caviar and blini

73. Louche absinthe

74. Gjetost or brunost

75. Roadkill

76. Baijiu

77. Hostess Fruit Pie

78. Snail

79. Lapsang Souchong

80. Bellini

81. Tom Yum

82. Eggs Benedict

83. Pocky

84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu

85. Kobe beef

86. Hare (rabbit? well, yes, then)

87. Goulash

88. Flowers

89. Horse

90. Criollo chocolate

91. Spam

92. Soft shell crab

93. Rose harissa

94. Catfish

95. Mole poblano

96. Bagel and lox

97. Lobster Thermidor

98. Polenta

99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee

100. Snake

Men Who Explain Things

2008-04-29T11:58:00.002-04:00

This is such a powerful piece. And funny. Please read it.

Note the opening: "He was a man who made a lot of money in advertising or something."

Luckily I have managed to fill most of my life with men (and women) who don't do this. Unfortunately, so many of us work in environments where it's impossible to avoid. I am posting it here on consuming signs because it's indicative of the kind of hubris -- and privilege -- that underlies the attitude "I know what you want and I know how to sell it to you." Perhaps the Frankfurt School wasn't wrong about advertising, about the consumer culture and the people who want to sell it to you. I'd like to think it's not all a manifestation of totalitarianism, but I worry about the kind of professional privilege that allows some people to think they can construct and sell culture to you without actually considering that you might have your own version....

Young at Heart

2008-04-21T09:03:00.003-04:00

As my friend Leah said, you may not think you want to see this movie, but you do. Trust us. Here is a review of Young at Heart.

Consuming Signs

2008-03-19T13:27:00.000-04:00

Here is a space to play on the meanings of those words, on the reality of signs -- signage, text, and words that speak to us in the human landscape -- and signs as Baudrillard described them.

More to come.....